Saturday, April 25, 2015

Enno Cheng and the Reverse Catfish

Enno Cheng is a Taiwanese Singer-songwriter, Actress and Author.  She's pretty cool.  I would suggest you look up her solo LP "Neptune" or either of her Lp's with her band "Chocolate Tiger".  And her movie "Summer's Tail" is really neat too.  I seriously must get around to reviewing it.  However, today's post isn't really about her.  It's about how sometimes people online really really suck.

I was always into cinema, especially what you might call "Cult" cinema, so my eventual love for Asian Cinema came quite naturally.  You can find a more full history over at GweiloRamblings.  What is important for this piece is that I met someone online that reignited my love of that cinema nearly 8 years ago.  I was proud to call her my friend.  She was cool.  And helped me out a lot at a time I was struggling to survive in every area of my life.  I don't need to mention her by name (which is hilarious when you read the rest of it), and I don't want to give too much away.  She's a person with a life.  This is for me to explore my thinking, not any kind of blame/revenge plan.

She wasn't easy to keep as a friend.  She was a lesbian, bi-polar, and frankly used to occasionally treat me like crap.  But hey.  No-one, least of all me, is perfect.  Good stuff outweighed the bad.

Even though we had huge long chats online, and we lived about an hour away from each other, we never met.  There was always an excuse.  Or she just wouldn't turn up.  I'd eventually forgive.  Though not forget, and just keep trying again.  Over and over.

Over the years, I would prod and poke, and it would be clear she wasn't quite who she said she was.  So we went through various faces on her part. Names too.  Sometimes it would be because I out and out told her I didn't believe what she was telling me.  Sometimes she would apparantly want to come clean. She changed from being Korean to being from Hong Kong.  Her age was a point of contention.  There was plenty of stuff that simply didn't add up.  But in the main, this was fine, the majority of the chats were so much fun, and I learned a heck of a lot.  And I was always told, whatever I might think I had found out?  I wasn't much of a detective.

But this isn't news to anyone who has struck up friendships online.  People pretend to be other people.  Maybe better versions of themselves.  Or use the anomynity of the online world to get things they maybe can't in reality.  I get it, but it isn't fun being on the other side of the screen.

We really fell out just before Christmas.  I said how I felt about a number of things.  And she broke off contact with me.  She managed to twist things to make it about how I acted about something, but frankly it had been dying for a while.  I just gave her an excuse.

To be fair, in the following 5 months, there were a couple of attempts to get things back again on track, always initiated by her.  But to be honest, I was tired of always being the one who said sorry first, and still so much didn't add up.

I mean.. meeting someone for coffee isn't that big a deal is it? Not someone you have spoken to pretty much every day for 7 years. Someone you apparantly have shared thoughts and feelings with.  And she was gay, so nothing complicated could happen right?

So the last time we started chatting, she bought up Enno a lot.  Now I don't talk much chinese, and I can't read it at all.  But Enno was in the sub-group of musicians we talked about that she seemed to have an empathy with because she was also gay.  Or so I was told by my friend.

Now I don't live in a bubble, I am able to look at stuff online all on my own.  But some things I just take on trust.  So when I found out Enno was married to Sam from Taiwanese Indie Band "Fire Ex", I was intrigued.  More so when I realised Sam was a guy.  Seemed Enno was a funny kind of lesbian.

The not-a-lesbian-at-all type of lesbian.

Which raised a bunch of alarm bells.  Lots of old thoughts came back.  Why would my friend make up this lie?  It's utterly pointless.  Hiding behind fake names and faces is one thing.  But making up this just made no sense.

Except....  it got me thinking about the one thing I had held to be the truth.  The one thing from our first chat that had remained a constant.  The fact she was a lesbian.  She certainly talked a good game about being gay.  But you know what?  What if that very first foundation was as much a fib or half truth as everything that followed?

What if... she wasn't gay at all.  What if at best she was bisexual?  What if, just like Enno, she had a husband?  That would be a bloody good reason for not meeting someone wouldn't it?

She often talked about how her lies were sometimes to protect others rather than herself.  Sometimes I took it to mean me.  But of course, what if it was to protect him?

So let's take a trip down memory lane.  But do it as Dr Gregory House would.  Let us use his credo of "Everybody Lies".  Therefore everything I have ever been told by her is discounted.  Let's deal with verifiable facts.  And see where it leads us.

But not today...


Equations To Describe My Thoughts



J=P+KL(+r): Where KL=K2


S observes P in physical plane S-H

Image of S is mirrored by Image of SY

S observes live images of KL

S only observes peripheral images connected with KL


Fr(K) not = Fr(C)

No observation of K+C

Time taken to traverse S-H and Ln inconsistent and impractical

P supports K
Arrival of r makes NULL infinite.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Return of ThingsFallApart

Thingsfallapart has now been dead for 15 months, yet still it gets the odd hit.  And strangely they never follow on to go visit my new blog, which has all the old content and much more besides.  So if you want all my asian movie stuff - hurry along to GweiloRamblings.

But as I am keeping it as a placeholder, I might as well use it for something.  It's probably going to be used for much more random and less focussed bits of writing.  Maybe the odd review of other non-asian stuff.  The odd thought.  The occasional link.  But mostly?  Maybe some kind of online diary.  Because sometimes I need to write what I am thinking.  And as I know no-one really reads or cares what is on here?  It feels both safe and cathartic.